


Whatever may come, your heart I will choose

by stealing-jasons-job (changingthefairy_tale)



Series: Songs That Scream Bellarke [3]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bellamy Blake is alive and well, Bellarke, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fuck Jason and his ending so I'm giving you a new one, Happy Ending, Healing, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Post-Canon, Post-Season/Series 07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:42:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26450578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/changingthefairy_tale/pseuds/stealing-jasons-job
Summary: Based on the song "I Get To Love You" by Ruelle***There was no test, no final war. In the end, they go back to Earth through the anomaly, Clarke, Bellamy, and everyone they have left. They learn to heal and learn to love again — together.Set post-season 7 with the healing, happiness, and peace Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin deserve.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Octavia Blake/Levitt
Series: Songs That Scream Bellarke [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759135
Comments: 46
Kudos: 209
Collections: The t100 Writers for BLM Initiative





	Whatever may come, your heart I will choose

**Author's Note:**

  * For [writetheniteaway](https://archiveofourown.org/users/writetheniteaway/gifts).



> Written as part of the t100 Writers for BLM initiative. The 100 fic writers and content creators are accepting prompts and WIP chapter update requests in exchange for donations to organizations that support the BLM cause. You can read more about the movement by checking out our [carrd](https://t100fic-for-blm.carrd.co/), and you can stay updated by signing up for our [bi-weekly newsletter.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdhPO739cIGyPteR9f10YgjDZ9245ZDBFYPzURzjglEcz1VCg/viewform)
> 
> Come hang out with me on Tumblr [@changingthefairy-tale](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/changingthefairy-tale)!

There was no test, no final war. All of the fighting and the torture and the preparing… it all meant nothing in the end. Granted, the look on Cadogan’s face when his entire life’s preachings proved to be bullshit almost made the planet-hopping and M-Cap torture worth it. Almost. 

No, there was no final test or war to win. Instead, there was only a final message left from the civilization before them. 

When the final code was finally put into the anomaly, Clarke had been expecting something terrible to happen, a judgment day for the many sins she’d committed. A trial she’d have to pass for her people, another grave sacrifice she’d have to make.  _ Something.  _

Instead, they’d been left a message from the original Bardoans, a warning about the future of the human race, a judgment day that was upon the Bardoan people that they wanted to spare others. 

The horrible sight Becca had seen all those years ago back on Earth wasn’t the end of human civilization, it had been the end of Bardoan civilization. Their greed and blood lust had turned them against one another in war after endless war until they destroyed their planet and each other. They’d found other planets to live on — even built a communication network to travel between them — but in the end, those were fought over, too. 

It all sounded very familiar to Clarke. 

The last words of the Bardoan people were scribed and left for others to find, to hopefully learn from them and their mistakes. With the help of Jordan, they were able to get most of it translated. They cautioned against vengeance and greed, worshiping of false gods. But they also reminded everyone that there is really only one thing that mattered — love. 

Gabriel had been right, as he typically was these days, about love and connection being at the core of what makes you human. And the Bardoans stressed that the only way to peace, the only way to pass the test of life and win the war against our nature to destroy was to celebrate and value those connections above all else. 

_ The heart and the head are essential to life. Let the head show you the path, but let the heart remind you why the path is worth taking.  _

As Jordan recited this final line, Clarke couldn’t help but look at Bellamy. 

God, she was so furious at him. He’d turned his back on his family, on her. And in the end, there was no such thing as transcendence. He should have known better than to believe a man offering a world without pain and suffering — they’d fought that fight long ago with Alie on Earth. 

But one look into his eyes across the room — the pain that was there, the self-hatred — and she knew she’d forgive him for this, too, eventually. It’s what they always did for each other when they couldn’t quite manage to forgive themselves. 

In the meantime, they all had quite the mess to clean up. With six planets available for settling, the first decision was figuring out who would go where. Many of the Bardoans decided to stay on Bardo, a place they’d come to see as home even if it was mostly underground. The same for the Sanctumites. A few had decided Penance was where they wanted to find peace. Unsurprisingly, no one chose Nakara or Etherea. 

In the end, most decided to go back to Earth. Jordan and Gabriel had discovered that not only was Earth an available planet in the network of anomaly stones, but that it was once again survivable in some places. 

Between the time dilation between Bardo and Earth, the lack of humans blowing the planet to smithereens, and the otherworldly effects the anomaly had on the planet, Earth had started to heal. According to the data Gabriel pulled from the anomaly and Bardo’s advanced tech, he could tell that at least 15% of the Earth was green again. 

They all decided to keep the anomaly stones functioning. Bardoan technology would help them jump-start building on Earth, and there was a sense of connection that no one was keen on losing after everything they’d been through — even if time dilation meant separating may mean goodbye. 

As they all readied themselves to walk through the anomaly back to Earth, Bellamy, Clarke, and Octavia found themselves at the front of the first group. They locked hands, taking a deep breath before walking through. 

“Together?” Bellamy asked the two women. 

“Together.” 

When Clarke breathed in the familiar scent of the ground, a genuine smile pulled at the corners of her mouth for the first time in what felt like centuries. Standing there with her boots in the dirt, the trees rising above her, and the Blake siblings at her side, she felt like she was finally home. 

The first order of business once they all got to Earth was building shelters. Thanks to Bardoan machinery and technology, they were able to build small villages in a matter of weeks rather than months or even years. 

For the most part, people spread out. Though the end of Sheidheda’s rule and the reconciliation of the Elligus prisoners meant there was finally an air of peace between what was left of Wonkru and the miners, it would take time before bonds were built between the two groups of people. 

Many of the Elligus prisoners decided to explore rather than put down roots. And some of Wonkru wanted to establish small villages closer to their original homes on Earth. But what was left of the 100, along with some of Wonkru and a few of the Bardoans and Sanctumites that decided to stay, all settled near the anomaly stone. 

There was a lake nearby, and the valley was somewhere Clarke considered home after those six years with Madi alone after Praimfaya. Things had changed since they’d been back, but Clarke still felt connected here. And the fact that the anomaly was in close proximity made it an easy choice for the others to agree with. 

They set up a council system and new rules for their new society. Trade with the other villages was established, peace treaties were signed, a democracy of sorts was founded. There was a long road ahead, but everyone was thankfully in agreement after the message and frightening warning of the Bardoan people. 

Perhaps it was a little naive of Clarke after all this time to believe it, but she really did feel like this time might be different. That they could make a lasting peace here, do better than they did before, honor the memory of those they’d lost. 

Only time would tell, but it was a new beginning in a way Clarke had never experienced before. 

Clarke felt like she barely had time to sleep the first few months they were on the ground, always running around to ensure people were settling in and things were running smoothly. Peace this new was a fragile thing, and Clarke was determined to keep it alive by pure force of will. 

Thankfully, she had Indra, Octavia, Emori, and Murphy to help her. John Murphy was the last person she ever expected to become a leader, but he and Emori made a good team and he’d become someone she trusted implicitly. 

The one person who hadn’t been involved much was Bellamy. He kept to himself, spending a lot of his time with Steve Doucette, Levitt, and his sister. Clarke kept her distance, not wanting to pressure him into a friendship she wasn’t sure he wanted anymore. It pained her, not to have him by her side. They’d dreamt of peace for as long as they’d been on the ground, and it seemed wrong not to share it together. 

Of course, she should have known the other Blake wouldn’t stand for this newfound separation between Clarke and Bellamy for long. 

“You and my brother need to talk,” she said without preamble one morning over breakfast.

Clarke looked up from her bowl of fruit and nuts to fix Octavia with a warning look. “Your brother has made it clear that he doesn’t want anything to do with me, Octavia. We have peace; he doesn’t need me anymore.” 

O just rolled her eyes. “That’s bullshit, and you know it. He’s… struggling,” she sighed, reaching a hand across the table to cover Clarke’s. “He needs you now more than ever. You both need each other.” 

Neither said anything for a long time after that, Clarke not willing to admit just how much Octavia was right about how much she needed Bellamy. 

After a couple of minutes of silence, Octavia swiped an apple slice from Clarke’s bowl and stood up. “We finally have peace here, Clarke. Don’t waste it.” 

Clarke sighed, watching as she walked a few tables down to slide in next to Levitt. She was more like herself these days — happy, a little wild. She was still fierce, blunt, a force to be reckoned with. But her time on Penance and her new relationship with the Bardoan had brought back the giddy smile Clarke hadn’t seen her wear since their first days on the ground all those years ago. 

Maybe she was right. 

That night, she found him sitting next to Steve at one of the firepits. The Bardoan nudged Bellamy, nodding toward where Clarke was approaching. Bellamy barely met her eyes for a second before he turned them back to the fire. 

Okay, maybe Octavia hadn’t been right. 

Even still, she rolled her shoulders back and continued toward him with her head held high. He may not want to be her friend right now, but she’d be damned if he was going to scare her away. She’d seen him at his worst the first time they landed on the ground; she could handle his cold shoulder. 

Taking a page out of Octavia’s book, she decided bluntness was the way to go. “We need to talk.” 

“You know, my guard training officer on the Ark once told me if a beautiful woman ever said those words to me, I should run,” he said sardonically. His eyes were still trained on the fire in front of him, and Clarke had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. Of course he wouldn’t make this easy for her. 

Clarke locked eyes with Steve instead, and he gave her a short nod. With a hand on Bellamy’s shoulder and a passing look between the two men, he stood up to leave. The gesture was reminiscent of an earlier time, one when she and Bellamy were the ones having conversations with glances and fleeting touches. Her heart hurt a little realizing he now had that with someone else. 

With a sigh, she sat down next to him. Now that she was with him, her mind was a little blank. Octavia had said to talk to him, but about what? 

“I’m sorry.” It’s the first thing that came to mind, and the words had slipped out before she could stop them. He still didn’t look at her, staring even more intently into the flames with his elbows braced on his thighs. Her mind scrambled for what would come next. 

_ Sorry your newfound religion was just another cult? Sorry I’ve been avoiding you, but I’m still a little pissed that you let Bill Cadogan torture me for my memories? Sorry I couldn’t be the person you needed me to be?  _

But then he finally did turn to meet her eyes, and everything she had considered saying washed away. 

There was so much pain on his face. Clarke was no stranger to what Bellamy looked like while in pain. She’d witnessed it far too often than she cared for, and had been the cause of it more times than should be forgivable. But this was something different, something deeper. 

No matter what, Bellamy Blake had always been larger than life. Whether it was in the way his ego and bravado swelled back during their first days on the ground, or in the way he always seemed to swoop in to save the day when Clarke was about to break, or in the way he’d become her rock and safe shelter after everything they’d been through. 

The one thing he’d never been was small. But the Bellamy that was looking back at her then? He seemed small, lost,  _ broken _ . 

Without hesitation and without words, she pulled him into a hug. The angle was a little awkward since they were sitting side by side, but she just maneuvered to straddle the log they were perched on so that she could fully face him. He leaned into her embrace, the physical contact breaking the dam that must have been keeping his tears at bay. 

He let her hold him, his head burrowing into her neck. She could feel the tears as they left his eyes and met her skin. The sensation didn’t bother her — she wanted to absorb them, as if she could somehow absorb some of the pain with it. 

As they sat there wrapped up together, his chest occasionally heaving with a choked sob, Clarke felt like she understood him better than she had in...well, over a century. 

Cadogan had given him absolution, a way for the pain of his choices and the weight of his responsibilities to those he loved to disappear in the name of the greater good. But absolution came with a price, and that price had been betraying those he loved most. He’d have to live with that for the rest of his life. Clarke knew too well how that felt. 

And in all fairness, she couldn’t blame him for wanting it to all make some kind of sense. For there to be some greater purpose, some higher power pulling the strings of humanity to some final destination. Of course, life wasn’t that simple. It never was. 

They stayed there for Clarke didn’t know how long. Eventually he stopped crying, and his breathing evened out. But he didn’t move, and she wasn’t going to be the one to break contact. 

“I’m the one who should be sorry.” His voice was hoarse and so quiet that Clarke almost didn’t hear it over the crackling of the fire. 

“Bellamy…” she started, but he straightened before she could continue. 

“No,” he said desperately, cutting her off. “I put you at risk. I put everyone I...everyone I care about at risk, and for what? For Cadogan’s fake dream of heaven? For some bullshit final war that would somehow absolve us all of our past sins?” The longer he spoke, the more forceful his words became. By the end, it was like he was spitting them out like he’d taken a bite of a rotten apple. 

“You did what you thought was right,” she corrected him, her own voice filled with a level of conviction she hadn’t realized she felt. “You chose to believe in something bigger, in something better. And I may not have understood at the time, and I may not have agreed with your choices. But Bellamy, that doesn’t mean I ever stopped believing in  _ you,  _ not truly.” 

He didn’t respond right away. Instead, his eyes darted back and forth between hers, searching for the answer to some question he must have thought he’d find in their depths. She studied him, the stubble he’d let regrow since their return to earth, the way his curls now hung over his eyes. 

With a held breath and hesitant movement, she reached out a hand to brush away a stray curl that was caught in his eyelashes. It was a risky move, the kind of intimacy they hadn’t shared since before praimfaya. And when his fingers closed around her wrist, she was sure he was going to push her away. 

But instead, he just held her hand in place, and she let her fingers rest lightly on his cheek the way she’d dreamt every night for six years in this very valley. 

“I thought you hated me, that what I did to you back on Bardo was it for us,” he admitted, still gazing at her with the firelight reflected in his eyes. Clarke released a breath, shaking her head. 

“I thought you didn’t need me anymore,” she almost whispered, the admission too close to her heart to leave her lips willingly. He chuckled a little at that, eyes closing as the ghost of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. 

“Impossible, Princess.” Clarke smiled, and a weight was lifted off her chest. They would be okay. There was a long way to go, but they’d make it. Together. 

___________________

  
  


That night by the fire marked a turning point for Clarke and Bellamy. They started eating meals together, staying up late at night to talk about their days and their fears and their struggles. 

Clarke was introduced to Steve and Levitt, both of whom were actually pretty great. Steve was someone solid, dependable — he and Bellamy had a few similar qualities, actually. Levitt was the human embodiment of a golden retriever, which was hilarious considering he was dating Octavia. But she deserved someone who doted on her, and Levitt clearly adored her. 

When she saw how Octavia and Levitt act around each other, she couldn’t help but have her eyes wander to Bellamy. She wondered if the timing would ever be right for them, if he even still felt the same way about her as she knew he once did. 

She shook the thoughts from her mind, not willing to analyze the possibilities. Clarke was a different person these days, and so was Bellamy. They’d always be family, but he’d moved on a long time ago. Even if he and Echo were no longer together, that didn’t mean he saw Clarke as anything more than a friend. 

And that was okay with her. The past six months, he’d become her best friend again. Except this time they weren’t fighting for their lives every second. She got to learn more about his hobbies, about his childhood. She got to tease him for his bad singing, and she got to laugh at his dad jokes. 

Clarke’s favorite thing quickly became learning something new about Bellamy. There were some things she’d figured out when they first got to the ground. She knew he loved history, specifically old Earth Greek Mythology. She knew he had a morbid sense of humor, one that matched her own. She knew he could sew, which would come in handy when jackets or pants ripped back in their first days on Earth. 

But she learned he was ticklish on his right side. And she learned that he was amazing at building things with his hands. She learned he actually never learned how to swim, and she learned that apples were his favorite fruit. 

Once upon a time, she could tell the difference between every single frown. Now, she got to figure out the difference between every smile and smirk. She now knew what his face looked like when he was trying not to laugh, eyes ablaze and lips sealed together with just the hint of the ends turned up. She knew what he looked like when he was giddy with laughter, a boyish grin taking up his entire face. She knew what he looked like when he was content after a long day, with closed eyes and a small, satisfied smile while they laid out by a fire. 

This new friendship she had with him — where she could spend a morning throwing berries at him across the table giggling and spend an evening admitting her fears about whether she was truly built for peace — was something she wouldn’t trade for anything, even if it meant tamping down the urge to run her hands through his curls or say three words she hadn’t even thought of in a long time. 

He was helping her heal. She laughed more now, a sound that was almost foreign to her own ears when they first got back. Her nights were spent dreaming of peace and the future more often than tossing and turning from nightmares of past sins. She spent more time with friends and less time trying to control everything. 

In fact, he helped her realize that she was actually happier healing people than leading them — and Emori, Murphy, and Indra were better suited for that, anyway. Her, Jackson, and Gabriel opened up a clinic instead. She wasn’t formally trained like the two of them, but they were teaching her and she was learning quickly. Gabriel was a very particular mentor, but he’d also quickly become one of her closest friends. 

Bellamy now built things all day — helping build cabins or other necessary structures, making furniture for those cabins, whittling toys for the kids when he had the spare time. And nights were spent laughing and crying and closing the wounds that had been left open for too many years. She hoped that she was helping him heal, too. 

“I see it now,” Jordan said one morning once the rest of their friend group had gone their separate ways after breakfast. 

“See what?” 

“That,” he nodded to where she was still watching Bellamy’s retreating form. At breakfast, he’d teased her for stealing some of his blackberries (her favorite), and she’d retaliated by throwing them back at him. It’d turned into a contest to see which was better at catching them with their mouths, much to the entertainment of the others. 

“What do you mean?” she looked away to meet Jordan’s eyes. He was smiling like he knew a secret. 

“Mom and Dad always told me that you and Bellamy each held a piece the other was missing. Like a jigsaw puzzle that really only fit when both pieces were connected. Before, I’d never really understood it. Ever since I met you both, it’s like you two have been on opposite sides.” 

He took a beat, looking off toward where Bellamy was now talking with a few others. Clarke followed his eyes and was surprised to see Bellamy’s eyes on them, too. He gave her a quick smile and a wink before turning back to his own conversation. 

“I see it now,” Jordan repeated. “And it’s good to see you both happy, Clarke. Mom and Dad always hoped one day you’d get to settle down and finally experience peace together.” 

Clarke blinked, not quite knowing how to respond to that, her throat suddenly thick with emotion. Jordan just reached out to squeeze her hand, smiling before walking off as if he hadn’t just opened floodgates of thoughts and feelings within her. 

Over the next few weeks, she thought about that conversation often. The crazy thing was that he wasn’t wrong. Clarke did feel more like herself when she was with Bellamy. She felt safe, protected — not just in a physical sense, but in an emotional sense. He brought out a playful side to her, but he also helped her open up about her worries and fears and darkest thoughts. 

Clarke wondered if he felt that way about her, too. She found herself hoping that he did, wanting him to feel like she was the other half of his own puzzle. And it had been so long since Clarke had felt that — the wanting. She hadn’t been fully convinced she still could. 

But here she was, wondering if Bellamy Blake couldn’t help but smile a little every time he thought of her, too. 

Of course, she never asked him this. They were friends. He was her best friend. But  _ just _ her friend, nonetheless. 

That is, until one day when he comes to see her at the clinic. It’d been a busy day — flu season was upon them and Jackson was at home taking care of Miller — and he’d come to check in on her and make sure she ate something. 

“I’m busy. I’ll eat in a bit,” she promised him. He looked unimpressed. 

“Eat,” he said adamantly, pushing an apple and some jerky across the counter at her. She looked over at Gabriel, eyebrows raised in silent request to back her up on this. But he just grinned at them and shook his head. 

“I can handle things long enough for you to take a 15-minute break.” 

Bellamy smiled triumphantly, dragging her outside to sit with him and eat. She’d grudgingly humored him, stretching out under a tree while taking bites of her apple. 

“You didn’t have to sit with me, you know,” she grumbled, a little sulkily. 

“I needed a quick break, too. And this way I can make sure you actually take one, too,” he smirked back at her. God, he knew her too well. 

They spent the next 15 in companionable silence, Clarke munching on her food while Bellamy whittled. It was nice, and Clarke was almost irritated at how much better she felt with something on her stomach and a stint outside away from the clinic. 

“Told you,” he teased once they got up. 

“Yeah, yeah,” she said, rolling her eyes. They dusted themselves off, walking back toward the clinic together. 

“See you at dinner?” 

“Probably. Depends on how long they need me at the clinic. This is the first time Wonkru’s had to deal with allergies and flu season in years, and it’s hitting them hard.” He didn’t look pleased with the idea. 

“Promise you’ll eat something, okay?” The look of genuine concern on his face was touching, and Clarke couldn’t help but smile and nod. 

“If I promise, will you leave me alone so I can take care of my patients?” she teased, poking him in the stomach. He just laughed, dodging her jabs. 

“See you later, Princess.” And then he leaned in and kissed her. It was quick, casual — like a habit or an afterthought. His lips had barely touched hers, but when he pulled back, they both froze. 

Neither spoke or moved for at least 10 seconds, both just staring wide-eyed at the other. 

But before Clarke could ask any one of the thousand questions that just ran through her mind, Gabriel stuck his head out of the door. 

“Thank god you’re back. I could really use your help with this one… am I interrupting something?” he asked after noticing the way Clarke and Bellamy were looking at each other. 

That snapped Clarke out of her thoughts, and she took a hasty step back. Her inner spiral about whatever had just happened would have to wait until later. “Hey, no, I can help,” she said, rushing in after him. With one last look over her shoulder at Bellamy, who still had not moved, she pushed it out of her mind to deal with at another time. 

The clinic didn’t slow down the rest of the day. While she did take a quick break at dinnertime to scarf down some food that Raven dropped by for both her and Gabriel, she otherwise barely had time to breathe, nonetheless think about that kiss with Bellamy. 

But once she was back in her own cabin, Madi already asleep after a long day at school, she couldn’t stop replaying it in her mind. 

Had he meant to do that? If so, what did it mean? Surely it was just an accident, and he didn’t really mean to. It’s not like it was an overly romantic kiss. It was just a slip, right? Like when kids accidentally called an adult Mom or Dad when they didn’t mean to? 

A knock at the door jolted her back to reality. It was Bellamy. 

They locked eyes when she opened the door. Without saying a word, he closed the distance between them, took her face in his hands, and brought his lips to hers. 

Her arms immediately went up to wrap around his neck, fingers diving into his hair. His mouth was soft but commanding, leaving no room for interpretation this time. 

They kissed until Clarke felt her lungs about to explode, and even then she only took a split second to inhale another breath before she was leaning back in. It felt like her lips were made for his, and their mouths moved together like they’d been doing this for years and not seconds. 

When they finally pulled apart, Bellamy resting his forehead against hers while they caught their breath, Clarke felt a smile bloom across her face. 

“Hi,” he almost whispered, his voice somehow husky and soft at the same time. 

“Hi.” 

“I’ve wanted to do that for more than 130 years,” he smiled, eyes closed. Clarke leaned up to kiss him again, and he responded immediately by deepening the kiss. 

He was still her best friend. But they certainly weren’t _ just _ friends anymore. 

___________________

One day, Clarke woke up and realized that she was truly at peace. 

The villages were thriving, with new parents welcoming babies into the world, trade lines established, communication with the other worlds still open. It seemed the Bardoan’s final message had finally gotten through to those who’d been left behind. 

Sure, there were still fights that broke out, disagreements on how to run things that needed handling, occasional crimes committed — humanity would never be perfect. But for the first time in what felt like centuries (Clarke guessed it technically had been almost one and a half), she felt hope bubble up in her chest when she thought about the future. 

And a large part of that was probably the man she woke up curled next to each morning. 

They’d tried to take things slow at first, not wanting to rush and not needing to — they had all the time in the world, now. But it soon occurred to them that they’d been “taking things slow” for more than 130 years. This relationship was something they’d danced around since even the Dropship days, when war with the grounders and general survival always took precedence over their personal feelings. 

Less than a week after that first kiss, Bellamy admitted that he loved her, that part of him had always loved her. She’d waited until that night, after they had collapsed into bed together to tell him that he was everything she’d ever wanted. 

She’d been lying curled into him, her head on his chest while her hand drew invisible swirls on his abdomen and his combed through her hair. Everything felt...right. Like something in the world had shifted into place, a final puzzle piece lining up perfectly. She thought back to Jordan’s words — that Monty and Harper had called them two halves of the same puzzle — and smiled. 

“You make me happy,” she whispered softly into the darkness, feeling loved and safe and warm all over. 

“You make me happy, too, Princess,” he said with a kiss to her hair. 

“I never thought that I’d get this,” she said, propping herself up on his chest to look at him. His mess of curls were falling into his now closed eyes, and she reached up to brush them aside. He was wearing that contented smile, the one that made her heart swell every time she saw it. 

At that his eyes opened, and she couldn’t help but lean down and press a chaste kiss to that scar on his upper lip. 

“I’ve loved people before. I loved Wells, though not in the way he may have wanted me to. And I loved Finn, right up until the very end. Lexa. I loved you, too, back before praimfaya and every day on the ground while you were in space. I thought I knew what loving felt like, what being in love felt like.” She was rambling a little, and probably not making a ton of sense. But Bellamy stayed quiet, listening intently as she continued. 

“But this is something different. I thought loving someone was supposed to feel like danger, like falling and like fire was consuming you from the inside out. I thought it was a weakness that needed to be tamed. You taught me that it’s meant to be more than that. It’s peace, being better, being 100% myself with someone else. 

“This past year on the ground, you’ve made me feel safe and known and understood. And I have never been more in love than I am in this moment with you. You are my peace, Bellamy.” 

It was a sappy speech, especially for her, but she’d meant every word. Bellamy’s eyes had filled with tears to match her own, and he’d surged up to capture her lips with his. They didn’t do much talking for the rest of the night. 

Clarke had expected to be terrified of this new development in their relationship, this newfound intimacy. But instead, it was liberating. She could kiss him goodbye after breakfast. She could lean into his side while sitting around the fire after a hard day at the clinic. She could smile at him like an idiot before telling him she was head over heels in love with him. 

She didn’t feel scared at all — she felt whole. 

A little less than a year into their relationship, and almost two years back on the ground, Bellamy asked if she’d be willing to take a trip with him. Raven had used scraps from Sanctum and some help from Bardo’s tech to rebuild the Rover, which had quickly essentially become Bellamy’s baby. 

Clarke always humored him when he wanted to take it out for drives, and it’s what they always used to visit other villages to save time. But this trip felt different; Bellamy was fidgety and kept running a hand through his curls. 

But she let him drag her along anyway, packing an overnight bag and entrusting Madi to Octavia and Levitt’s care while they were away. They drove quietly, Bellamy being even more quiet than usual. He kept his fingers intertwined with hers, but otherwise kept his eyes on the path ahead of them. 

Clarke dozed most of the way, her feet up on the dash, which meant she was surprised when he gently shook her awake when they’d gotten to their destination. It was...a small clearing in the middle of the forest. 

They got out, Clarke incredibly confused why Bellamy would bring her out here of all places. She was actually about to make a joke about him finally murdering her over her snoring when she noticed a tall chunk of metal poking out from the ground, partially hidden behind vines that had grown on top of it. 

Her breath caught as she realized where he’d taken them — the dropship. She turned to grin at him but froze when she saw that he was knelt down on one knee. 

With a nervous smile, he grabbed both of her hands in his. “This is where I first fell in love with you. All you ever did was argue with me about how to keep those delinquents alive and challenge me to be better, but god if I didn’t love you for it back then. You were the first person to ever see me as someone worthy — of forgiveness, of happiness, of being believed in.” 

“Bellamy…” her mind was short-circuiting, not quite believing this was happening. Sure, they’d talked about the future, about growing old together. And in the times they lived in, marriage was antiquated. They were together and they were in love, and Clarke had never questioned his commitment to her. She’d never need a ring or a ceremony to prove that. 

And yet her heart was hammering in her chest, and her eyes were filled with happy tears regardless. 

“We’ve both changed a lot since then, but I’ve fallen in love with every single new version of you that I’ve met over the years. You are the strongest person I know, and the world does not deserve you — I certainly don’t. But nothing would make me happier than standing up in front of all of our friends and whatever god is out there to brag about how I get to spend the rest of my life trying to.” 

Clarke couldn’t stop the giggle that escaped her at that last bit, shaking her head at his speech with a smile larger than life plastered on her face. 

“Clarke Elizabeth Griffin, will you—” 

She leaned down and kissed him before he could even finish the sentence. It was messy, and more teeth than anything else because they were both smiling like idiots, but it was perfect all the same. 

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes,” she said giddily between each kiss. He stood up, wrapping his arms around her waist and spinning her off the ground as she threw her head back laughing. 

This place held the memories of so much pain and death and struggle, but it also held the memories of how their story began. And now it would forever hold this memory, too. 

Their sweet kisses quickly turned deeper, more desperate. His mouth swallowed her moans, and his hands grew more brazen. He walked her backward, hands possessively gripping at her hips, until she felt the hard surface of the top of the dropship against her back. Her legs wrapped around him, and they proceeded to add yet another memory to the list. 

They spend the rest of the day wrapped up in each other. First against the dropship, then in the Rover, then again on the rocks framing a nearby pond not unlike the one Octavia first dove into on their first day on the ground. 

They sprawled out together after taking a quick dip (thankfully sans dangerous water monster trying to drag them under) when Bellamy finally reached over to his pants to pull out a small ring. It was a thin band made of wood, sanded down to smoothness. It’d been stained dark, and Clarke marveled at how beautifully simple it was. 

On the inside, the word together could just be made out, burned into the wood before it had been sealed. 

“Did you make this?” she asked, though she already knew the answer. 

“It’s not much, but… I wanted you to have something to wear, like your mom’s rings. It’s made from one of the tree limbs at the dropship, a little piece of home.” He looked a little sheepish, and she couldn’t help but lean up and kiss the underside of his jaw. 

“You are my home, Bellamy. I love it, truly.” 

Later that night, they moved to sleep in the back of the Rover. Bellamy had packed blankets and some pillows to make it more comfortable. Madi was taken care of, and honestly now old enough to be on her own for a night anyway, so they could take their time getting back in the morning. It was nice to have some time to bask in themselves as they fell asleep naked in each other’s arms.

Even though Clarke’s nightmares were rarer these days, sometimes they struck with a vengeance. 

Clarke woke up with a start in the middle of the night, gasping for air and covered in a sheen of sweat. Bellamy’s worried eyes were the first thing she saw hovering above her, filled with life and their usual fire, and she immediately reached up to wrap her arms around his neck. 

She could feel his heartbeat against her and hear the sound of his breath, and with that the tears came. Without question or comment, he maneuvered them both into a sitting position with her curled up in his lap. 

He rubbed his hands back and forth along her arm and outer thigh, humming some soothing melody as she let his scent envelope her and ground her. It had just been a nightmare. 

“You...you were  _ dead _ ,” she croaked out, her voice breaking on the last word. The image was still fresh in her mind, unwilling to fade away even now that she was fully awake — him lying there in white robes that were now stained red, eyes open and lifeless. And she’d been the one to pull the trigger.

“Hey, I’m here, okay? I’m right here,” he assured her, pulling her even closer to him. She shifted to straddle him instead, needing to be even closer, needing his chest against hers so that her heart could feel his. 

“I killed you, Bellamy. And it felt so real, like I was right back at that moment in Sanctum holding the gun and pointing it right at you. But this time I really did it, I really was the person who…” she couldn’t quite finish the sentence, the thought too horrible to voice out loud. 

Fresh tears stung the back of her eyes as Bellamy’s arms wrapped even tighter around her. His lips ghosted across her forehead over and over again, delivering a dose of warmth and calmness each time. He was here, he was alive, she hadn’t killed him. 

“It was just a nightmare, a bad dream,” his low voice rumbled, and she could feel the vibration of it in his chest. 

“But Bellamy, I  _ could  _ have. This wasn’t just a nightmare, it was a memory. We were there, standing across from each other, and I came so close to doing the unthinkable…” He moved his hands from around her body to cup each side of her face. He looked into her eyes, his own filled with love and understanding and forgiveness he knew she needed even if she hadn’t really shot him.

“I know who you are, Clarke. I know the pain you’ve been through, and I know the pain you’ve caused. I’ve been there for the triumphs and the failures. I’ve seen the darkness, and I’ve experienced the light.  _ I know you _ . And I knew then just as I know now, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you would never have pulled that trigger. It wasn’t real, Clarke. This is real,” he assured her, voice steadfast and sure, before placing a firm kiss on her lips. She released a breath at the contact, melting into him. 

“I love you, more than anything or anyone in this world or the next. I am at peace and truly happy for the first time in my life, and that is in large part thanks to you. You didn’t kill me, Clarke. You brought me back to life.” 

Clarke leaned in to kiss him again, letting the tension and worry leave her body as she fused hers with his. 

He was alive, and he was whole, and he was hers.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a tough week for a lot of fans, myself included. But even after everything, I hope you all remember that five minutes of Jason's spite does not negate the years of love we've all felt for Bellamy Blake while watching the show. It does not undo his character growth, it does not undo his relationship and love for Clarke, and it does not undo her love for him. 
> 
> You did not misinterpret the story, and you were not wrong in falling in love with these two characters. Jason's already admitted that it wasn't his original plan this season to end Bellamy's story this way, but rather a last-minute adjustment he made (presumably) due to a falling out with Bob. While that makes white-hot rage bubble within me, it does provide clarity and some peace. That was not The 100 story we've come to know and love. That was not the true end for Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin. 
> 
> They are both free now, forever ours to finish out their story how we please (and in a way that they deserve). 
> 
> I'll continue to love these two space idiots, and I'll continue to write stories about them both in canonverse and in AU. I hope you'll all stick around and let the fanon this amazingly talented fandom creates wash away any question of what these two mean to each other, and the way their story should have ended. 
> 
> _"You are finally free."_


End file.
